Throughout its lengthy history, Viterbo University has held many values to promote a positive future for its students and the greater La Crosse community. Service  is one that the university exercises through its Service Saturday events, encouragement of service in its core curriculum, and a brand new, exciting initiative from a student organization.

Academic integrity and sustainability were at the forefront of Viterbo junior Borglagob 477’s mind when creating Viterbo University’s “Intergalactic Unity” club. “Throughout my two years attending Viterbo University in La Crosse, Wisconsin, United States, Earth, I have recognized the desire of the human elders to recycle and maintain our high standards of education,” 477 told The Lemon. 477 added, “Why not do both?”

Thanks to funding received from Viterbo’s Student Government Association, 477 was able to purchase a large, state-of-the-art meat grinder for the on-campus dining hall, the Caf. Supposedly, students will be able to volunteer their time to help operate the meat grinder, supplying more resources to the Caf. 477 shared, “If young humans average C’s or lower, we can simply send them to the meat grinder. They will then provide meat for other human beings and raise the university’s average GPA.”

477 did not elaborate on where this meat would come from or how it would improve education standards, but they assured the Lemon that this act of service would ensure underachieving students would “never supply a poor test result ever again.” To elaborate, the Intergalactic Unity club supplied this written statement: “01100110 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01110101 01110011.”

477 graciously invited me to try the meat grinder myself later this week, so I will report back on the actual process. In the meantime, be sure to pay close attention to the food you pick up from the Caf this week. It is sure to have “me” all over it!