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Viterbo senior soars into his new life.

New ceremony for graduating seniors declared “a flop!”

Mitchell Shaw, Campus Life Editor May 1, 2022

Disappointment was the outcome of the V-Hawk Graduation Planning Committee’s newest event to celebrate seniors. The aptly named “Leaving the Nest” ceremony for seniors was pitched by University President,...

Campus Security purchases flapping-inflatable-arm men to ward off shady individuals

Jacob Vanasse, Graphic Designer April 10, 2022

Reportedly, Campus Security is implementing the use of flapping-inflatable-arm men to ward off evildoers from Viterbo’s campus. The idea stemmed from a unanimous decision by the SGA to install one flapping-inflatable-arm...

UN agents visit Viterbo

Viterbo RAs reviewed after students claim punishments violate the treaties of the Geneva Convention

Mitchell Shaw, Campus Life Editor March 28, 2022

The Viterbo community was recently visited by some very unexpected guests—if you can call them guests—after a petition, signed by underclassmen residents of Viterbo, was submitted to the United...

BREAKING NEWS: New mask guidelines make Covid magically disappear

BREAKING NEWS: New mask guidelines make Covid magically disappear

Mitchell Shaw, Editor March 7, 2022

Maybe it’s prophecy, coincidence, or even science—Covid is gone! After new CDC guidelines were issued, mandating masks has become a thing of the past. Places everywhere are no longer requiring masks...

 President Elect, Vic the V-Hawk, Sworn Into Office

‘Vic the V-Hawk’ named tenth President of Viterbo, unfortunately

Mitchell Shaw, Editor December 13, 2021

In a turn of events, that shocked no one, ‘Vic the V-Hawk’ has been named the tenth President of Viterbo… God, save us all. The decision came abruptly after Viterbo Board of Trustees gave up on waiting...

“St. Francis, Rockstar!” A total flop, written and directed poorly by Lloyd Weber Andrews

“St. Francis, Rockstar!” A total flop, written and directed poorly by Lloyd Weber Andrews

Mitchell Shaw, Editor November 22, 2021

Budding artists are always looking to make their mark in college, but Lloyd Weber Andrews, senior music theatre major, missed his mark completely with “St. Francis, Rockstar,” a new rock musical produced...

Fossils discovered in Viterbo’s business office

Mitchell Shaw, Editor November 8, 2021

A remarkable discovery was made October 29, right here at Viterbo University. Real-life prehistoric fossils were discovered beneath the cement floors of Viterbo’s business office. The discovery, made...

Nudist Club holds chili cook-off in Assisi Courtyard

Nudist Club holds chili cook-off in Assisi Courtyard

Grace Reynolds, Campus Life Editor October 25, 2021

On a fine Tuesday afternoon in October, Viterbo’s long-standing Nudist Club hosted a chili cook-off in celebration of their 150 anniversary. The members of the club arrived precisely at noon...

Farewell to professor Ben such a boring guy” Smith

Farewell to professor Ben “such a boring guy” Smith

Tommy Krob April 30, 2021

The summer is rapidly approaching, and with it, La Crosse residents can finally start looking forward to a reoccurring sun, cozy rainy days, and freedom from classes until the end of August. While...

“Ronald Dump [above] refuses to give up his constipated battle for student presidency.”

Losing presidential candidate calls for a revote after ‘fraudulent’ student election

Mitchell Shaw April 19, 2021

The email polls have closed, votes have been tallied, and a winner determined, but the fight for the seat of student body president may not yet be over. A campus-wide ‘revote’ has...

Vic the V-Hawk released from rehab after struggling with strange addiction

Vic the V-Hawk released from rehab after struggling with strange addiction

Mitchell Shaw April 19, 2021

It has been a long, cold, lonely winter for all of us this academic year; however, none can deny it has been hardest for campus mascot, Victor V-Hawk. Vic, once the joy-filled, fun-loving, bubbling...

Viterbo’s newest budget-friendly professor

Viterbo’s newest budget-friendly professor

Tommy Krob March 3, 2021

Viterbo University’s budget has been undeniably affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. Students yearned for the return of in-person classes and an on-campus education, requiring exorbitant amounts...

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